a frog

i remember stepping out of the small row boat my father and i were bravely handling on the rough seas of a small pond in michigan into mud up to my knee. it was the physical representation of what i had at times felt about the world. all of a sudden the structure of it could simply give way and swallow a poor boy whole. it was a beautiful day though. a nice summer day with that thick air where the green of the tree leaves and grasses just bleeds into the air. at night it was alight with poor wondrous fireflies that while free were fun to catch and then in captivity, looking back, were poor unhappy animal souls. i moved so fast back into that boat and who knows if my father saw the juvenile fear in my glowing blue eyes.

many other things happened on that trip. mostly the simple events that punctuate any young and active boy's life. i had ripped a filling out while sucking on my 16th lollipop or laughy taffy or whatever junk food of the day it was. actually it was not a cavity but a cap on one of my beat up back molars. while my parents were intelligent people they did not realize the solution to a child "driving them to drink" in the words of my mother, was not to be found in additional doses of highly refined sucrose. as a child i did not mind. i also remember running straight into a glass door, which even an intelligent man is expected to do at some point or another.

but then there was the frog. it was a long walk down the stairs from the house. just a steady decent from atop the hill down to the beach surrounding the small pond with rough seas. was a somewhat of an overcast day and i had just bolted out the door after lunch to do who knows what. i remember it, like most of my memories, in third person. i was standing on next to the pond holding a brick that i had picked up somewhere along the way. i was walking and noticed a small four legged amphibian looking as shocked at my presence as i was to find the mud give way beneath my measly weight. with little thought as to the consequences of my actions i dropped the brick squarely on top of the frog. upon realizing that what i would find if i lifted the weight of the brick off the frog's back was no longer a living frog, i also realized death for the first time. like many memories with a great deal of distance between their occurrence and the present it may have simple been a dream.

what to do when you fail...

well, you can start a blog and watch harold and maude

the modern synthesis has to deal with the merging of darwin's theory of natural selection and mendels laws of inheritance...

of more importance:
http://music.inkrefinery.com/